Sam,

Firstly, take off that necklace, you look ridiculous.

Secondly, right now you’re travelling to Western Australia thinking you are a Rolls Royce midfielder. But the quicker you realise that you’re a battling back pocket the better for all of us.

I want to give you the key to be successful but trying to work that out is the funnest part.

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What I will say is don’t take yourself or football too seriously. The job is to make people happy so start with yourself.

Be a good man…. I know where you live.